The Abraham epic—like much of the Old Testament—is permeated with all sorts of intriguing stories and back stories. Violence, incest, racism, slavery, animal and child sacrifices, are but a few of the earthy ingredients that comprise these sagas. This is definitely R-rated stuff. If it were made into a movie that accurately depicted what happened, James Dobson would not rate it family friendly. And the lesson quarterly committee apparently also struggles to sanitize the presentations so that this week’s lesson appears to focus on such PG 13 themes as infertility, lying, and the dangers of attempting to help God out with our own plans.

So, I’d like to stay closer to the script and talk about circumcision, child sacrifice, and sanity vs. psychosis. Let’s begin with circumcision.

I’ve always wondered why God chose clipping off some of the most sensitive parts of one’s anatomy as a sign of "faith." Couldn’t s/he have snipped an ear lobe or chopped off the end of a little finger between the nail bed and the first joint? Why pick on the penis? There are some things that are gender specific when it comes to understanding, and I suspect circumcision is one of them. I don’t claim to understand childbirth—not really. That’s an experience that only females can really understand.

We men sit by offering encouragement and breathing instructions, but we’re not having the baby. I recall when I once ran a marathon how at about the twenty-two mile mark, I started actually to resent those folks who were standing alongside the road cheering us on. I began to think "What do you know? Standing there clapping—try running!" A rather uncharitable thought, I realize, looking back, but one that I experienced nonetheless. I suspect that’s how women might feel when delivering a baby, but I don’t know.

Similarly, I think only males can really understand circumcision, because unless my own experience is unique—and I doubt it is—no male reaches adulthood without having caught a piece of his penis in a zipper somewhere along the way. It usually happens only once, and there’s a reason. The pain is so excruciating you never forget. No adult authority figure has to "remind" you, "Now watch it when you zip up your pants!" "Be careful!"

So I used to wonder: Is God some sort of sadist? Did s/he have to figure out the most painful procedure possible? Why not just use a red-hot branding iron and stamp "Mine" in the middle of one’s forehead?

It appears that God isn’t looking for Laodicean casualness when it comes to friendship. S/He desires intimacy with her/his children. So, right out the starting gate, God dialogues with Abraham. The dialogue begins when God asks Abram to leave his family of origin and go to another place. God says: "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you…" (Gen. 12:2 NIV). This is followed by the narrative of Abram and Sarai working out a plan that involved what many would consider lying.

Abram understood the culture of his day much better than we do, and in order to save his life, he told his ravishingly beautiful wife to tell others she was his sister. Interestingly, it was the Egyptians that God smote with "serious diseases," for attempting to make Sarai one of Pharaoh’s wives, and we find no hint that Abram was chewed out for not telling "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Sarai was, in fact, his sister. He just neglected to mention he had married his half-sister. But then, Rahab was listed in the Hebrews 11 faith hall of fame because of her willingness to lie on behalf of the spies whom she hid.

To discuss thoroughly which kinds of lies God honors and which ones he despises would take me beyond my word limit, so I’ll just opine that lying to save life is OK; lying to cover up your errors or to gain unfair advantages over others is not. If the Nazis came to my door asking if I had any family members hidden anywhere in the house (and I did) I would do my best to lie convincingly.

So, Abram’s intimate relationship with God begins when he leaves his family of origin, travels to parts unknown, lies to save his life, and experiences God as faithfully sustaining him along the way. Genesis 15:1–17 records a vision in which God takes Abram outside to look at the night sky and promises him that his children ("seed") will be as uncountable as the stars of the Milky Way. We’re told that "Abram believed the Lord" (v. 6).

But even at this crucial juncture at the beginning of the Jewish nation, this is not merely a pronouncement by the Almighty. Abram "believes," but asks for more evidence. "O Sovereign Lord, how can I know…?" God responds by arranging the signs of a covenant in a way that was culturally sensitive. Animals were cut in two and the halves were situated opposite one another. Then after sundown, when it had grown dark, God made his/her presence known in the form a "smoking firepot with a blazing torch" that "passed between the pieces" (v.17)

Not exactly the way we conclude contracts nowadays, but a lot more intimate—a lot more interesting. Compare that with a "closing" on a home today. You sit in a title company bank office and sign about a dozen papers while pretending to read the fine print. I think a smoking firepot with a blazing torch passing between animal halves would be a lot more interesting. But even that is not as personal has having your penis trimmed!

In Chapter 17, we’re told that when Abram was ninety-nine years old God decided to go a step further in confirming his covenant. He told Abram "You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you" (v. 11). This is followed by dialogue in which Abram laughs to himself as he ponders the impossibility of a son being born to a man one hundred years old with a wife in her nineties. Nonetheless after some back-and-forth with God about how improbable this would be, we’re told that on that very day Abram circumcised all the males in his household—including himself.

We’re not told whether Abram circumcised himself or whether one of his servants did, but in any event we know it was done without aid of anesthetics, so to me, this ranks as one of the great acts of faith in salvific history. It’s right up there with pulling your fingernails out with a pair of pliers or sliding down a forty-foot slide coated with broken glass, sliding on your bare bottom. This is like catching your penis in your zipper for two hours! Why? Isn’t this pushing "No pain, no gain" theology beyond all reasonable limits? Remember, this wasn’t a newborn, whose memory of such trauma wouldn’t be vivid. Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised and his son, Ishmael, was thirteen.

I suspect that God chose the penis because that is the most crucial family/tribal boundary. God changed not only Abram and Sarai’s names at that juncture, he also changed Abram’s anatomy. And s/he changed it from what happens naturally to something different and distinct. Each time a male from Abraham’s family decided to urinate or propagate, he was reminded "You belong to Me." If one of the males from Abraham’s family was about to "hook up" with a temple prostitute or a Philistine, he was reminded that his penis belonged to God. It was God’s "tatoo" of the most personal variety. Interesting, God instructed Abraham’s tribe—centuries later—"Do not...put tattoo marks on yourselves" (Lev. 20:28). Why should they? God had already tattooed his people.

Finally, as Abraham’s faith had been challenged and he consistently followed God’s plan, there came yet another "test." I can’t help but wondering how much of the back story we are missing here. In a subsequent narrative, describing the faith of Job, we are given a behind-the-scenes glimpse of Satan challenging God that Job is only faithful because God has showered him with prosperity. Since personality traits remain quite stable, it seems reasonable to assume that even though we aren’t told about it in the Abraham narrative, Satan is probably saying to God "Sure Abraham serves you, look what you’ve done for him. All he ever really sacrificed was leaving home and some penile pain. That’s not really that big a deal. But take his kid and that would be another ball game!"

So, I suspect, God takes up the challenge, goes down to earth, and says to Abraham "Sacrifice your son as a burnt offering." We know the rest of that story because it’s rated "G" and appears in children’s books such a My Bible Friends. Kids don’t understand the pain of infertility that Sarah endured, nor the pain of circumcision that Abraham survived. But parents understand. Ask me to leave my family of origin and I will—happily! Ask me to catch my foreskin in my pants zipper and I might. But ask me to kill my son—No way! In fact, as a psychologist, I would consider someone psychotic if they were to try to kill their child in response to the "Voice of God."

This has always been the toughest narrative in Scripture for me to metabolize. My twenty-first century digestive tract has never been able to assimilate this one. But this week, finally, I think I understood. You see, God had promised to make a nation of Abram. In those days, having numerous children was considered one of the highest blessings. Abraham was to be the Johnny Appleseed of God’s plan—his seed becoming more numerous than the countless stars of the night sky. Yet all of this had to take place within boundaries. It must be osmotic in nature—blessings moving outward from a central area of great concentration. God had to establish the most intimate, trustworthy, exclusive relationship of all time in order to birth a nation. He needed someone (as he found, in the person of Abraham) who would hold nothing back—not his penis, not his son.

When you read the entire narrative (Gen. 15–25) you get a glimpse of the intimacy that existed between God and Abraham. So, when God asked Abraham for the supreme sacrifice this was not a distant voice or a psychotic hallucination. It is a very familiar sound—the voice of a Friend dialoging with Abraham. And, it was culturally sensitive—people of other nations were regularly sacrificing their children to pagan gods. So, when God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, Abraham had not the slightest doubt that it was God’s voice. And, as he always had previously, Abraham responded immediately—the same day—in yielding to God’s leading. That’s faith!

One of my favorite dialogues is recorded in Genesis 18:27–28. It’s that famous bartering that takes place regarding how many righteous must be found in order to spare Sodom from fire and brimstone. What I love about this dialog is the simultaneous reverence and intimacy. Abraham never presumes to tell God what to do, doesn’t even "claim promises." He approaches God with the greatest of respect, but he does approach:

Then Abraham spoke up again: "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city because of five people?"

This dialogue was one of many in a series that formed the core of Abraham’s faith. So when God turned his attention to Abraham’s private parts, it takes the form of dialogue—penis dialogues. How different these dialogues were from The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler’s 1996 Obie Award-winning episodic play that emphasized the vagina as a medium of female empowerment. Themes included sex, love, rape, orgasm, birth, and masturbation; and each year a new monologue was added to highlight a current issue affecting women. Although criticized by many, The Vagina Monolgues have become the cornerstone for a V-Day movement when participants stage events designed to end violence against women and girls. The first V-Day event took place on Valentines’s Day 1998, with the "V" standing for Valentine, Vagina, and Victory.

By contrast, God’s interactions with Abraham were dialogues, and although a surface analysis might regard circumcision as a painful and primitive ritual, more careful study reveals a profound truth: God desires an intimate relationship of trust with you and with me. Although this intimacy began with tattooing Abraham’s penis, today it relies on the mystical intimacy of the Holy Spirit in each of our hearts. Perhaps Paul said it best: "circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man’s praise is not from men, but from God" (Rom. 2:29).

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