Picture a rocking chair. It is a time-honored symbol of home, warmth, and comfort. It is actually a chair mounted on rockers so that a person can sit on the chair and rock back and forth. The ends of the rocker go up and down. The middle part always stays on the ground. The rocking chair remains stable—in spite of its rocking motion—because of that constant connection with firm, stable ground.

In today’s rocking, changing, unstable society, the family of God can be the stability in the midst of instability, just as the rocking chair remains stable because of its connection with the firm ground.

The definition of family, for the study of this lesson, is the unit of persons where one’s deep and abiding needs for belonging, for love, for intimacy and for social contact are to be met. Today’s families may not be the old-fashioned ideal of father, mother, and children. Single, blended, step, and divided families are common now.

However, it is in the home that the establishment of identity and the development of personal worth take place. Here the earliest work in the socialization of the individual occurs. Values are implanted in the young, and these are transmitted from one generation to the next. The Christian family is designed to meet the needs for belonging, love, intimacy, and social contact. Where the home cannot fulfill these purposes, it is hoped that the church will.

Many books and seminars list the traits of healthy and strong families. For the purpose of this study, some of the most important follow:

1. All members of the family purposely and clearly express appreciation to each other for what they do and who they are. It is important to build self-worth on who someone is, not just on what that person does. Affirm the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22, 23, which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Good communication and listening skills will help. A strong and healthy family unit, whether church or home, will be deeply committed to promoting each member’s happiness and welfare

2. One of the characteristics of a stable and healthy family is quality time its members spend together. A balance of time alone, the need for privacy, and time for work and leisure is important. Every family unit, whether home or church, will be enriched by a balance of togetherness and separateness. There will be a sense of play and humor, but never at the expense of another person. When fun is wholesome and acceptable, secret "fun" that may not be good will not seem glamorous.

3. Strong families have the ability to deal with crises in constructive ways. Problems can be expected. Leaders will teach and model problem-solving skills, and a healthy family, and church, will seek help when needed. Families cannot always plan for each crisis, but they can learn to put on the full armor of God, which is described in Ephesians 6:14–17.

Members can learn to be united by accepting each other as growing individuals, not as people who are already perfect. They will not judge each other, but allow for mistakes and love each other as Christ loved everyone regardless of race, gender, or creed.

4. Loving each other as members of a church family is true religion. God is worshiped when the singles love and fellowship with each other and with married people. God is present when families with children are hospitable to seniors who may be lonely; when seniors fellowship with youth, when the church family nourishes lonely people within and outside marriages.

The church will be strengthened when single parents find help and encouragement. When the unlovely and unlovable are loved in Christ, the church family will experience God’s love in and through it. This will produce a strong, healthy home and church family. Our daily lives are acts of worship.

5. Faith in God plays a foundational role in daily life. Strong families have a commitment to a spiritual lifestyle, and a sense of purpose, support, and generosity. The Bible often compares marriage to the relationship between humans and God. We read in Hosea 2:19 (NRSV) a beautiful promise: "I will take you for my wife forever; I will take you…in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy…and you shall know the Lord."

God’s wedding gift to his people, both in Hosea’s day and in our own, is righteousness, justice, love, and mercy. Through no merit of our own, he forgives and makes everyone complete in Christ. There is no way that by our own efforts we can reach God’s high standard for moral and spiritual life, but he graciously accepts us, forgives us, and draws us into a relationship with him. In that relationship we have personal and intimate communion with Divinity.

Whether at home or church, families have the potential to be the best of everything or the worst of everything. There can be love and care, or hate and violence. The good things that God uses and gives us Satan can also abuse.

Scripture readings for the adult Sabbath School Bible Study Guide this quarter appropriately suggest and expand on six keys for family unity: (1) protection, (2) togetherness, (3) equality, (4) peace, (5) mutual submission, and (6) commitment to Christ.

To all of these points a hearty Amen can be said. However, nothing will be totally effective in making a Christian family or church a successful, strong, and a healthy unit without the unifying love of Christ. The love of Christ and for Christ will be the center that draws all disconnected relationships together. This will be true in a household of people living as family, and as a church full of people living as a family of God.

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