I have two daughters, the oldest of which is five. Every so often something really strange happens—she acts like she’s still two. If I ask whether she is still a baby, she protests loudly that she most certainly is not! So I press further. If she is, in fact, no longer a baby, why is she acting like one? I want her to act her age. I want her to grow up.

The longing of every parent is for children to gradually become more mature. Why? Because we have learned that the fullness of the human experience will come only as we mature. Our appreciation for life, love, and beauty grow as we grow. We know that we will cause fewer problems for ourselves if we grow up to be healthy and whole human beings. We want that fullness of life for our children.

Paul wants the same thing for his spiritual children in Ephesus. The first part of this epistle has laid the groundwork, establishing a solid theology of our new humanity through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Now Paul fleshes out this theology in practice.

The admonition to walk worthy of our calling is an introduction to everything Paul wants to say in this half of his letter. He says it again in verses 14–15: "We will no longer be infants [but] will…grow up.…"

How can this actually happen? How can baby Christians become mature, grown-up Christians? We might even be tempted to ask the more basic question: Can this happen? Can people change? Can the Christian maturity that Paul speaks of be a reality? We see so little evidence of it in our world today it makes one wonder. Often we have mistaken legalism for growth in grace. In our efforts to avoid legalism some have given up on Christian maturity altogether.

The analogy to the family can help us again. We all know grown-ups who aren’t very grown up. Gray hair doesn’t necessarily equal maturity. What children need to grow into physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy adults is a family. However, simply being born of two parents and living under the same roof doesn’t guarantee maturity, either.

What is needed is a particular kind of family, one characterized by love, forgiveness, appropriate structure, and boundaries. The family needs to be a place where children learn life skills like communication, conflict resolution, shared responsibility, and so forth.

So when we ask ourselves how a person can grow from being an "infant" in Christ to being a mature Christian, Paul’s answer in this passage is that we need the church. As one author has said, "It takes a church to raise a Christian." But not just any church will do. It takes a particular kind of church to raise a Christian. This is the church Paul talks about in this passage.

First, it is a church characterized by the unity of the Spirit. This is a unity focused at the highest level on our shared loyalty to God as he is revealed in Jesus Christ. It is a church that is growing up into Christ, the head. It is not growing up in loyalty to some charismatic leader, but in loyalty to Christ. It is a church whose members have learned how to keep focused on the teachings of Jesus and not let trivialities distract them.

Secondly, it is a church that has Spirit-filled leadership. The gifts that Paul mentions in verse 11–12 are "word gifts" and "leadership gifts." The purpose of these gifts is to bring the kind of leadership that will help the body of Christ grow in maturity. The kind of church that raises healthy Christians is one led by Spirit-filled leaders—leaders who can mentor and model a life lived in the way of Jesus.

Paul characterizes this worthy life as a life of complete humility and gentleness. Without this humble, Spirit-filled leadership the church ends up being "tossed back and forth by the waves." We can all think of churches we know that fit this description.

Thirdly, it is a church that leads young Christians to be servants in the world. The work of growing up into maturity is the work of learning to be a servant. There is a sequence of purpose in Paul’s logic. The gifts are given in order that the church might be led into service so that the church might become mature. Spirit-filled leaders leading Christians to follow Jesus into service in the world produces mature followers of Jesus Christ.

This isn’t a magic formula. It’s simply the nature of things. If discipleship to Jesus Christ is the goal of the Christian life, then serving as Christ served must be the way to Christ-likeness.

But, says Paul, it takes a church to raise a Christian. Nothing in our passage suggests that Christians are to go off by themselves to a mountain retreat in pursuit of enlightenment that leads to maturity. It is in the crucible of human relationships—the rough and tumble of serving the world together in the name of Jesus—that we grow up into wholeness and maturity.

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