The battle over the rape that Los Angeles superstar Kobe Bryant allegedly committed in Colorado continues to rage.

When the story first broke, Bryant said on national television that he was "disgusted" with himself. "Furious." And why?

Because he was caught red handed in the " mistake of adultery." He temporarily forgot that the stunning Vanessa, his wife, is the woman he loves with all his heart, a blessing, the air he breathes, the beats of his heart, the strongest person he knows, his backbone.

Those are his metaphors, not mine.

But come on, folks. Give the guy a break. Boys will be boys. I mean, what do you expect? Perfection or something?

Even Vanessa’s father, while "not thrilled" about his son-in-law’s infidelity, said that "doesn’t mean he’s some sort of rapist or monster."

No, it doesn’t.

But a close look at the true nature of both rape and adultery shows significant similarity. Certainly more than the "boys will be boys" crowd will ever willingly admit.

Rape and adultery are really a matter of different victim, similar pain.

1. In rape, one person forces another to participate in an intimate and emotion-laden activity that the other doesn’t choose or want.

Now maybe I’ve missed something. But I don’t think that Vanessa Bryant would have chosen to hear her husband describe his unfaithfulness before a national TV audience.

2. In rape, the victim experiences extreme embarrassment and humiliation.

And what, might I ask, has Vanessa Bryant been feeling for months?

3. In rape, the action of one person causes the victim (usually a woman) to second-guess herself. Was it my fault? What did I do wrong? Could I have avoided it? And the public’s questions imply similar victim-blame.

Do we think Vanessa Bryant hasn’t been asking—and facing—such questions?

4. In rape, the victim should fear contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Did Vanessa Bryant have any less reason for fear?

5. In rape, the victim faces the potential that her life will be altered by an unwanted pregnancy.

Would a "love child" conceived by her husband and a stranger in Colorado have had no life-altering impact for Vanessa Bryant?

6. In rape, the victim has personal details she would prefer to keep private held up to public (at least jury) scrutiny.

And just what has been happening to Vanessa Bryant?

By these comparisons, I’m not suggesting that rape is inconsequential. It’s a horrible, appalling crime. What I am suggesting is that adultery is far more dastardly and far more devastating than large segments of society recognize.

For me, the verdict is already in concerning what Kobe Bryant has done. Only one question remains: Did he do it to a stranger and his wife? Or just to his wife?

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