The Adventist Review recently published an article by Roy Adams, one of the journal’s editors, about homosexual men and women that is likely to spark lively discussions. In what follows, I hope to participate in these discussions by making seven suggestions.

1. Let’s try to be calm. Homosexual persons have been members of our congregations and communities for many years. This is not a new issue. Neither is it a crisis. If we were talking about a patient, we would say that this set of challenges is chronic, not acute. I have been reading, thinking, and praying about this matter for about three decades. This is enough time for me to know that I have much to learn. We all do. Let’s take the time and effort that is required to do our homework as peacefully and as thoroughly as possible.

2. Let’s try to get our facts correct. We cannot make Christian ethical judgments that stand up under scrutiny unless we know what we are talking about. One fact that deserves to be underlined is that there is no "homosexual lifestyle," just as there is no "heterosexual lifestyle." One homosexual person once told me that the gay and lesbian people of the world have as much in common as the coffee drinkers of the world. How right he was! Homosexual men and women arrange their private and public lives in many different ways, just as the rest of us do. What we say and do should reflect this fact.

3. Let’s try to recognize important differences. It is time for us to take seriously the different ways homosexual people arrange their lives. To place all homosexual relationships in one category, and to say that they are all equally immoral from a Christian point of view, is not adequate. Even if it once was, it is no longer convincing to say that two men or two women who live together in loving and supporting ways are in relationships that are no better and no worse than are the encounters of promiscuous heterosexual and homosexual persons. From a medical point of view, mutual faithfulness is preferable to promiscuity. It is also better from a Christian ethical point of view.

4. Let’s try to agree wherever possible. Roy Adams writes that "Any person who would insult, belittle, or otherwise harm someone because they are gay or lesbian is not Christian." We can all agree. We can also all agree that careless, promiscuous, abusive, and exploitative sexual encounters are ethically unacceptable for all Christians, heterosexual and heterosexual. We can all agree, too, that there are important differences between a homosexual orientation and a homosexual deed and that we should be as clear as possible about which one we are addressing. If we try, we will find other things about which we can also agree.

5. Let’s try to be fair. The laws of our societies should prohibit discrimination based upon a person’s sexual orientation just as they should forbid discrimination based upon an individual’s gender, race, religion, or political persuasion. Our laws should not allow such factors to influence the ways we treat each other. It is not unfair to hold that sightless people may not fly airplanes or perform surgeries; however, it is difficult to imagine a circumstance in which it would be fair to deny qualified persons the opportunities to do such things just because their orientations are homosexual. Fairness matters to God. It should matter to us, too!

6. Let’s try to be honest. Most people who commit the crime of rape are heterosexuals, not homosexuals. The same can be said of most people who sexually abuse children, cheat on their partners, and attack those who are different. Rarely do we have a case in which a homosexual person taunts, mistreats, or even kills a heterosexual one. Almost always it is heterosexuals who do this to homosexuals. Heterosexuals, particularly heterosexual men, are greater threats to society than are homosexual men or women. We need to be honest about this.

7. Let’s try to be kind. No one possesses complete knowledge as to why some people have homosexual orientations, just as no one completely understands why many others possess heterosexual ones. The best conclusion so far is that both orientations result from a complex mix of physical, environmental, and volitional factors, but that the relative importance of each factor varies from case to case.

Some homosexual people, particularly some lesbians, report that they chose their orientations. Most do not. Many have spent hundreds of hours in prayer and thousands of dollars in counseling in order to change the way they are. For some this proves possible. Probably because of a different mix of causative factors, for many others it does not. For all it is a very painful experience.

Rarely have I conversed with homosexual men or women without being struck by how much sorrow and abuse they endure. For those of us who are heterosexuals to think of ourselves as the actual or potential victims in such situations is untrue. It is also unkind.

We Christians have chosen to follow One who went out of his way to encourage, comfort, and assist those whom others despised. Those who did the despising in the time of Jesus often felt ethically compelled to do so. They were mistaken. Ellen White was right: there are degrees of sin in God’s eyes, just as there are in ours; however, the most offensive sins in God’s sight are pride, arrogance, and a spirit of condemnation. Let’s walk in the footsteps of Jesus!

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